Starting to lose my mind

I don’t know what to do anymore. I want ftm “gear” but everything is so expensive and I don’t have the money at this moment. I’ve tried point of pride and got the email about my free binder almost ready to ship back in June but I still haven’t got it. I tried the queer trans project and was on time and kinda fast to get all I needed during tonight’s restock but turns out I was too slow. So now I’m just in a bad mood and starting to lose my mind cuz of gender dysphoria and my makeshift binders,(hidden shelf bras), aren’t helping anymore. I don’t know what to do and it’s causing so much stress. I just don’t know what to do anymore.