Your loss

A generous lover girl, you chose to throw away.

I shouldn’t have been dating, that much is known now. Only 6 mo out of a 15 year relationship and I fell hand over feet for your love bombing breadcrumbs.

I didn’t understand yet how I was searching to feel sexy, interesting, to reignite the flirting laughter I missed so much. You delivered, inconsistently. Hooked me on dopamine jolts. Disappeared when you wanted, gave only enough. I choked on desperation.

I see it now, way too late. I was loving me, and you were a vessel. Thank god I shifted and moved straight to the source. Continued to surround myself with friends and loved ones who engage in repair. Traveling. Exploring this luscious life.

I know I care for you in a real way, but you don’t know how to love anyone; not even yourself. Isolation is avoidance. You can’t heal triggers by avoiding them all together or blaming others.

I pray for your next gal, the one who falls for it… again. She’ll join a long line of lover girls you would have been lucky to get to know but ran off to wallow alone with superficial bar friends who will never demand a thing of you. Enabling.

I am so hopeful you’ve changed. Grown. Learned to stay and see what happens.

You deserve real intimacy. So do we.