Feeling off …

The other night I admitted to my husband I felt a spark with my boss. I’m embarrassed and feel like an idiot. I told him though lately I’ve been feeling like not wanting to be here too. I wish I wasn’t born and I wouldn’t care if I died. I had visuals of myself dying in a hole. I’m not sure if I felt the spark between my boss and I cause something is missing in my marriage or what. But my boss is just being a professional guy. I took it the wrong way. He checks up on me a lot and ask how I am doing and I’m not used to it. My husband travels a lot for work so we don’t see each other a lot . I love him and I don’t wanna feel this way … any advice I feel horrible