I have entered the "can't get out of bed" stage of depression

Depression has been kicking my ass recently. It's making it really hard to make good choices for myself. Last week I wasn't eating or sleeping. Now all I want to do (and did yesterday) is sleep. Probably because I was tired. But I barely left bed yesterday and not sure if I'm getting out today.

It sucks to feel so alone in it. My husband has noticed but calls it me being "mopey" which is just kind of hurtful.

A few days ago I noticed that my husband's contact solution was low so I ordered more. It's a small thing but I wish I had someone looking out for me like that. I'm taking care of everyone and no one is looking out for me and it's a hard pill to swallow right now.

Husband is all "just tell me what to do" but I don't understand why I have to tell him all the time. He should know by now that a clean kitchen and a meal without me having to tell him "the plan" for lunch/dinner (spoiler alert there is no "plan") go a long way but he always waits until I'm a third of the way done cleaning the kitchen to start helping by getting in my way.

I need therapy but it's so hard to get lined up when you are in the thick of it. I've been through the process with both of my kids and it's such a bitch finding someone with availability and takes our insurance. And my kids have so many recurring appointments between them I can't stomach the thought of adding even one more. Plus I know that every therapist isn't the right fit and I don't think I can handle a shitty therapist right now. I'm extremely afraid of opening up to anyone.