To share or not to share, that is the question…

I’ve been in a DB for many years (married for 15 years) that has led to many of the same reactions and feelings that so many of us share in this sub — and while sometime it is hard to read and “re-experience” my feelings and I have to take a break from it at times, I do find my way back to read every so often as at the end of the day it is cathartic for me (44, HLM).

Our DB led to the following over the years:

• ⁠built up resentment • ⁠an affair • ⁠eventual ending and disclosure of the affair • ⁠therapy (personal and couples) • ⁠legitimate effort to improve the relationship and DB • ⁠eventual and somewhat quick return to the DB leading to all the same feelings that started the first cycle

We are more open with communication about things this time around but she (48, LLF) does get angry when I bring it up (passive aggressively or just straight-forward) and insists it has nothing to do with her attraction to me but is an internal issue. That being said, she does admit to masturbating occasionally, which kinda amazes me…

Anyway, the purpose of this post is I’m thinking about asking if she would be interested in going to a certain club nearby and would be interested in maybe meeting other guys for purely sexual/physical fun in a stag/hotwife type of scenario. I would just be happy to see her interested in sex again, whether it’s with me or not. I truly feel that way and it’s hard for me to believe that’s she’s done with sex in her life — she’s admittedly a very polished, intelligent and attractive individual.

So, am I batshit crazy for even thinking of this? Does this have any chance of working in the slim chance that she would be up for this? Is there any historical precedent here? Or are we relegated to repeating the previous cycle and waiting until our son is old enough to move in separate directions?

Up for any thoughts on this. Thanks!