For context, ive been dealing with chronic health issues for around a decade now and im still struggling to get a diagnosis, but hes well aware of the effects it has on me and how it affects my daily life and has been pretty supportive for every step of the way. We were talking about our future kids (im not currently pregnant and am on birth control as im not planning on being pregnant for a few years at least) and I mentioned that we needed to teach our kids how to use public transportation because I have multiple issues that make it near impossible for me to get places without getting a ride, so scooters/ bikes/skates/walking are all pretty inaccessible to me long term. Ive got bad heat tolerance, really low energy levels, joint pain, issues with my pulse that cause me to get dizzy and/or faint easily and at random times, and if I over-exert myself all my problems get worse ten-fold for the next day. I have a really strong fear that i'll end up passing on this condition to my kids, as I have no clue if its genetic or not (im adopted and have no clue about my medical history on my dads side, and basically no medical history on my moms side) and my partner is aware of this. 

     I was never taught how to use public transportation, and im pretty much trapped at home unless someone decides theyre in the mood to give me a ride because of this (i dont have a driver's license yet, i'm working on it though dont worry). Its really important to me that we teach our kids how to use public transportation because of multiple reasons, mainly that its a tool they should know how to use and its our responsibility as parents to give them as many tools to survive as we can. During this conversation, my partner told me that our kids will not be like me, they won't be sick (directly using the word sick to describe my condition). He then said that "sickly people shouldnt even be on public transportation specifically" which really rubbed me the wrong way as thats saying that someone like me with mobility issues shouldnt be on public transportation for their own safety, which frankly really hurt me. Without a driver's license, the ability to take the bus, or the ability to walk or bike to places, my freedom is tied to whether or not people around me are in the mood to take me somewhere. I don't want our kids one day to have to deal with the same problem. When I called him out on it he backtracked and said that he doesnt see me as sickly, and that he meant people "with cancer and on chemo" kinda sick when he said sickly, which i dont think he aluded to at all until I called him out. 

     He told me that he doesn't see me as sickly, which I'm not completely sure i believe anymore, but i also know he doesnt have the best understanding of my condition and he has told me before that just working out or improving my diet or hydration would fix most of my problems (which im sure other chronically ill people can relate to). 

This isnt a problem to break up over or reconsider our relationship, frankly this is a pretty small thing in comparison to other things we've successfully worked through. We've been through hell together and im not leaving him, I really do trust him with everything in me. Im just not sure if im overreacting to this or if its genuinely a mindset problem on his part that we need to address and work on. It stung in the moment, but im already pretty much over it.

So, humble internet denizens, AIO?


AIO to my partner referring to me as "sick" and saying sickly people should be on public transport?