Mitigating the fear of relapse?

I sometimes catch myself being really frightful about relapsing and I swear there are other times where I feel like Im nowhere near breaking down how I did before.

Im only 6-7 months out of the break, I tapered off of my medications which I do not recommend anybody do around mid April, I had some rebound psychosis then, and a lingering grief/erotomania type of fixation on a specific person, thats about it until a couple really intense panic attacks towards the tail end of July early August...my question is

should I get back on medication for some nervous system down-regulation that will keep me calm cool and collected while I work on implementing lifestyle changes and solidifying a stronger foundation of health and wellness or alternatively is this just part of the process and it just kind of sucks sometimes....?

I was on Zyprexa before and risperdone 1.5-2 mgs, it got me stable after my ketamine induced psychosis, I felt super peaceful until I got off it and the past 6 months have just been me trying to fix me and honestly even though Im grateful I dont have any psychotic symptoms,

I do have some terrible habits of self sabotage, some OCD level rumination and thinking, I also am pretty fucking sure Im having nervous system regulation issues that comes with unnecessary hyperarousal, if anyone has any insight or advice I would really appreciate it.

Im thinking of getting back on meds, olazapine for that peaceful feeling at a lower dosage and tapering back off after 3 to 6 months after I've made some significant progress.

I don't think Im bipolar and I don't think I have mental health disorder other than addiction in my past tied to ptsd , I just want to feel okay and Im fucking worried that Im making this harder on myself then it has to be. Any help would be well recieved.