20M, lost 4k+ from gambling, tonight was the final straw.

Lost another 700 tonight, down to my last $500 in my chequing. I’m a broke college student and I was doing just fine, but I’ve dug the hole so fucking deep for myself and I feel hopeless. Yes, I know others have lost much more and I have my whole life to work back at my money, but I feel utterly ashamed, embarrassed, and straight up depressed. I literally can not stop gambling.

I’m so addicted to the dopamine rush. The high that I feel when I gamble isn’t matched by anything. I’m so sick of being this controlled by gambling. I just want to replace it. Everything reminds me of my losses.

I’d literally be in such a good position if I didn’t fucking throw my money away every night. I hate myself. I’m fucking sick in the head or something.