“Survival mode unlocked: now featuring insomnia & regret DLC”

So apparently I speedran life on hard mode and failed all the side quests. Now I’m just here, choking on my own existence like it’s a bad cafeteria lunch. But hey, can’t quit before showing people I was at least capable of… I don’t know… something other than emotional chaos.

Turns out I’ve been the “wrong person” in everyone’s story. My hobbies now include: • Working until my brain melts • Staring at the ceiling instead of sleeping • Surviving (barely) • Wondering who the hell I even am

I’ve hurt people, and instead of doing it again I just unlocked the “distance from humans” achievement. Congratulations to me. 🏆

Here’s the PSA part: If you can sleep peacefully, be grateful. You’re winning at life. If you feel like you’re losing yourself, please ask for help before you turn into a glitchy NPC like me. Therapy > DIY emotional patchwork. Because after a certain point, even if you press “restart,” you’ll never load the same old version of yourself.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED Talk on failing gracefully.