I think I am a sociopath

Hi everyone, so I think or suspect i am a sociopath.

I have been to psychologists and psychiatrists before, but never been diagnosed as one before as I never reveal my trueself to them. I fear getting an official diagnosis will never be a good thing.

To start with, I grew up in a severely abusive house. My dad passed away before i was 2 years old. My mom I suspect is a high functioning psycopath or narcissit married another man who is also a complete nut job.

This guy physically and emotionally abused me to no end. No sexual abuse, but physical abuse nonstop. Literally coming home from school being burned with ciggarettes and slapped or punched through the face from kindergarden till I finished school.

Eventually I noticed I don't have any emotional attachment or feelings toward anyone or anything. I would for example read in magazines about a serial killer or some other criminal and stopped reading these stories as the backstory or personallity sounds very familiar to my own.

I am 40 years old now I have a wife and kids and living a normal life. However I do have some anger outbursts every now and then that can't be controlled by counting to 10 or running around the block, I need to physically destroy or damage something for the anger to release.

Another example, one of the guy's working with me or used to work with me, was a complete dick. He is only 25 years old or something and was diagnosed with severe and rare bone cancer. my first response, was not oh shame, my first response is suffer bastard suffer.