I made my life miserable

It all started with when I was in 8th grade my section got changed my confidence and intrest in everything significantly dropped i stopped socialising,small things doesn't intrest me and because I was a little better in studying than everyone else in my new section and there wasn't much competition I like started thinking that I am the best and I am right in everything i developed ego over time and didn't study at all and my behaviour also changed significantly.I wouldn't talk to anyone cause I thought of them to be stupid and isolated my self from my friend and my classmates earlier I was speaking in class but now I am not and the thing that shattered me was seeing my struggle to write speech and even understand the simplest questions in MUN(Model United Nations) like my friend who's been below mentioned had gotten the success she needed and won the best delegate award I don't know why I cried like I have never felt something so miserable in my life.She tell me that she doesn't know anything and it even look like it but from 8th to till now ( in 9th) she have achieved so much like she got gold medal in isso ,nso and now in MUN the best delegate award I don't know how to react i feel so down and miserable.She socialize well she looks really pretty i don't have any of it I am so burnt out from trying so hard but still can't achieve anything. I try to encourage my self and plan for what to do next but seeing this get shattered easily and lose motivation and get severly depressed.I have no friends to talk to and someone to go up to she feels a bit toxic and not gonna lie i feel kinda jealous also and there are several misconceptions and conflict going between us and I think I am the reason I am so burnt out and depressed that I can't even think about anything.To fit in change my mind and myself i feel so lost and I am not myself anymore.I am scared that if I dont improve now she will go ahead and i will be down forever thinking this i can't even concentrate and the little potential that i had even died. A young girl who was really good at studying, good at analysing,had a really good social group and connection with others is now nobody but a awkward teen who is just complaining stressing out and still won't work hard.And the hope that I have to glow up and Start working on my self died.I don't want all these but I don't know why I can't do it and I am defeated for now.🙂🙂🙂