I wish to physically transition but can’t socially or legally , Dysphoria is killing me, — need advice

I'm a closeted transfemme. I’m really struggling with my body. I want to physically transition, start hormones, because living like this feels heavy,

The problem is I can’t socially or legally transition right now I can't take that risk . I can’t live openly as a woman or change documents, and I don’t know what to do about it. The dysphoria fuckin sucks.

Is there a way I can get hormone treatment without transitioning. I won't take the risk of DIY hormones,

I just want to know is it possible in India and how someone might begin HRT , whom should I meet??

Any guidance, advice, or personal insights would really help.

I'm really desperate.