Am I jinxing myself?

Everytime I think I am doing well, I feel like being proud of my progress is setting me back. I feel me reset happens during a week before the time of the month and I hate how low and sad I get.

Nowadays, I am feeling so far away from the deen it hurts. It's like I feel something heavy stopping me from being good. Even my prayers are not becoming steady and on time.

I would appreciate any advice aside from the "go get married" cause marriage cannot fix such a damage unless I decide to work on bettering myself.