Panic attack

I had the worst panic attack I’ve had in a long time connected to my gender issues. Today we had a staff meeting and sometimes they going in to having fun activities to get us motivated for the day. Normally I can seperate this from “HER” but this morning I just lost it. As soon as the meeting organiser said we were doing a quizz about “Harry Potter” I couldn’t control my breathing. I just kept thinking in my head ‘that bitch wants us dead, that bitch wants us dead’ not logical of course not. But just couldn’t control it I quietly got out of the room and went to the bathroom. Sat there trying desperately to control my breathing for 15 minutes. I have no idea why this morning, people bring her and HP up all the time and I don’t lose it. But just today was terrible. I’m sorry to dump on you sisters but feels strangely big. I’m still a bit shaky and it’s like 10 hours later.