I just feel really ugly

Sorry I keep posting, I just don’t want to tell anyone this because I sound pathetic and attention seeking and maybe that’s what I am who the hell knows. But I feel ugly af. My mom is so pretty. My sister in law is gorgeous, my friend went to a wedding last night and sent me pictures .. everyone is so beautiful. And I’m not jealous, like at all I just feel like a bumpkin on a log over here, an alien with this flat chest and tufts of hair and dark circles and pale skin bc chemo is killing me and I am a ball of self pity and I hate looking in the mirror and I want my daughter to look at me and think wow mama is so pretty and I’m just not. I’m not pretty right now and I just hate it, I fucking hate cancer and everything it’s taken, I can’t fucking run, I can’t cook because everything smells like shit, I can’t teach because I’m so fucking weak I’ve never been this weak before. All I can do is just keep just enough energy to play with my kids and take them to a few places to keep normal in their lives and I fucking hate it I hate this stupid fucking disease and what it takes from us and I hate everything today because I just want things to go back to normal and I want to put a pretty dress on and feel like a woman and not a mannequin alien weird looking animal. Sorry for being depressing.