does anyone else feel like this ?

hey I'm 17F it's all started 5 year's before my relation with my parents start to get worst we use to argument alot that time and after a while i realise I'm in depression i stop going to school and insolate myself in my room it been 4 year's I'm going to derealization as well everything felt fake I feel like I have no emotion left in me everyday feel same time feels super fast I don't even remember my childhood memories it's feel like someone delete my whole childhood from my mind my current memory is also become worst i forget things easily and mood swings 24/7 and I don't have any friends or trustworthy person to tell this all help me what I do ..

there is one more thing sometimes in midnight I feel weird suffocating feeling not exactly but similar a weird pattern start to draw in my mind idk what is it or how to explain but it's happens rarely but it's uncomfortable pls help me if u can guy's.