How do I even start

8-10 shots per night for over a year. Havent missed a single day. Still live with my parents and if they find out then i'm homeless. So rehab's off the table. Literally cant brute force being sober because i get terrible shakes and an awful sense of doom. And cant sleep unless i'm drunk. I already barely manage work, and if i can't sleep due to being sober then i'm definitely getting fired, if i could even manage to drive to work. I have no friends and whole family doesn't like me. Just don't know where to start.