Spacegoat

Hi everyone. I’ve been lurking for a while, but I need to finally get this all out.

I’m [mid-20s] and have been trapped in an abusive household for 12 years, ever since I was 11. My parents (both Black, military background) have created an environment where I feel like nothing more than a scapegoat and maid.

Here’s a breakdown of what I’ve endured:

Verbal/emotional abuse: My mom says things like “you’ve been half-assing everything since birth,” or “just smelling you makes me mad.” My dad calls me a “pissant.” My mom has also called me a “d*ke,” “bum,” and “lazy.”

Psychological abuse & coercive control: They micromanage everything I do — brushing my teeth, bathing, cooking — sometimes literally watching me. I’m not allowed to cook without “permission” because years ago I accidentally burnt a pizza, but my sister burned several frozen pizzas I bought and got excused.

Financial exploitation: They run a Rottweiler breeding business. I’m the one who cares for the dogs (feeding, cleaning, accidents, training, supervising), basically keeping the whole system running. I get no pay or compensation. Without me, the household would collapse.

Physical abuse/threats: They’ve threatened to put a leash on me and drag me across the floor, sic the dogs on me, and burn all my belongings. My dad has mistreat the dogs.

Sexual boundary violations: Not outright assault, but enough blurred lines and invasive behavior that I feel unsafe in my own body. They act like my body isn’t mine.

Neglect & sabotage: They refused to teach me how to drive, cut me off from outside friends/family, and kept me so isolated I flunked college and lost multiple jobs. I’ve been deprived of medical necessities too (like pull-ups for nocturnal enuresis, which they mocked me about).

Surveillance & humiliation: My mom watches me on the cameras around the house. She mocks me, mimics my phone typing noises, and bangs on the bathroom door when I’m in there.

Now they’re threatening to kick me out. I bought myself a concert ticket months ago — my first ever concert, something I’ve wanted for years. When I told them, they blew up. My mom said the way I asked was “childish.” My dad accused me of being “devious, deceitful, and dishonest.” They compared it to “what if we decided months ago to kick you out and told you now?” They claim I “didn’t plan,” even though they never help me plan for anything.

They’ve said if I leave for the concert, I’ll come back to locked doors. They’ve cut me off from all outside help.

At the same time, they refuse to kick me out — because if I leave, they lose their scapegoat and caretaker. But they also don’t want me to stay. It’s a constant double bind.

---

I know this is a lot, but I’ve reached the point where I need to ask:

Has anyone else’s parents threatened eviction like this as a control tactic?

How do you survive being treated as nothing more than a maid/scapegoat?

How do you mentally handle when they say “we’ll burn your things, we’ll sic the dogs on you, we’ll put you on a leash,” etc.?

Any validation, advice, or shared experiences would help. I feel like I’m suffocating, like I’m not even a person in this house.