Life is fucking with me and I don't know how I feel.

Ill give the story with some bits missing for reasons.

I started a job at a place that was opening, after it opened I was asked to be a shift supervisor, I was then put into a workshop about that job, thats when I realised who a girl was lmao. This girl i knew had a boyfriend at the time so i didnt flirt or anything. After a couple weeks let's name her stella saying bad things about her bf, not that she didnt love him but he kept doing things she didnt like, like drugs. Then people started saying that she should date me instead (i didnt know about that at that time), she then started to be with me more. I worked night shifts she worked mornings.

After weeks of us coming closer and closer she seemed to be getting further away from her boyfriend. We started talking more outside of work and she then started saying she would rather me "as long as im with you everything will be okay". So i thought that she genuinely would rather me so I started flirting back (yes it was wrong but she made it clear she didnt want to date him anymore or as i thought).

Then 1 week she told him if he doesnt stop doing a drug then she'll break up with him. The next day he did that. I offered her to come to my place as she felt safe with me (looking back now she should of gone to her parents). She packed almost all of her things and moved it to mine that night. She said (me and him are utterly done). So she did inface break up with him then. This was all over 3 months

That night i didnt have any bedding or anything so she slept in the bed with me. We were finding a movie in an awkward position so I suggested we just get into bed. We did, she cuddled up to me. She fell asleep watching a movie which she said was her childhood movie (that movie that brings comfort to everyone thats from your childhood). After the movie i turned off a coloured light. She then got closer to me, kissing me on the forehead, cuddling, hugging even closer. I felt loved for the first time, I felt at peace. I trusted her with everything. We then kissed on the lips (my first kiss) this was at roughly 3am). She got a message in the morning saying she needed to open the store so she left at 6am, we had a 30second hug before she left, then she left.

When she was at work she broke down infront of everyone and went into the office saying she felt bad for me and it shouldn't of happened, explaining everything that happened that night while in tears. She went home early as she couldnt take work. She went to her parents place, then back to her bf/ex. I went to work at 4pm her still having me added on everything, half way through my shift she blocks me on everything goes to my place packs all her stuff and she left the key (i gave the key because we started and finished at different times). Her bf and her went to my place, i wish her bf didnt go but he did.

Now that all happened Then a couple days after her blocking me on everything she rung me, next couple days we would talk over the phone she would delete the call logs. She added me on snapchat, change my name, remove me once her bf was gone. That lasted 2 days before I said this shouldn't happen.

We didnt talk for a month Then I get a message saying she missed me and everything that we had. I also missed her so i also told her. All her friends at the time still said I was better and should be with me instead. I still told her this was the last time you can message me as you have a boyfriend.

1 month later I had a new job, found a new girl who at first thought was exactly like her. Took. Month to realise she wasnt like "stella". This girl was amazing, pretty, sweet, kind everything but she does drugs so im not going to carry on.

I finally stopped thinking about stella because of the new girl and that it had been 3 months since we last talked...

This is where life fucks me over

I wanted 2 jobs for more money so I applied to a place that is opening for the first time. i get the job. Start training. Work groupchat gets added. Find out "stella" is working there aswell. That night we both work togethor. We both acted like best friends but like nothing happened between us. Like we had been talking for months.

Why does life do this. I was fine. I was better. I liked that girl so much and didnt get over her but accepted it wasnt meant to be. Now shes back.

Sorry that was a lot i just needed to say something.