I’ve been trying to lose 10kg for 2 years

Female, 21 175cm here. I used to be really fat (90kg) then got really skinny (60kg) then i gained half of my weight back over the course of a year.

I have been trying to go back to being skinny since 2023 and failed countless times due to over restriction, not being in a deficit without realizing, or just going on many trips for my mom’s work, or stress eating cuz of college (i graduated this summer so my stress levels have lowered). I would literally work out 3-5 times a week and think i was in a deficit only for nothing to happen

The problem is this has been going on for too long to the point that I just want to eat food normally without mentally feeling like I don’t deserve to eat it until i lose weight. I’m sick of it..

My latest attempt consists of me dancing for 30-40 minutes every other day and eating 1500 calories. It has been three weeks and I feel no physical results and I’m starting to doubt if i even did any work. Matter of fact, it feels like i gained even more fat or maybe i noticed it more? I wonder if eating too little and putting myself on a deficit so many times for years has ruined my metabolism so i’ll just gain weight no matter what? I literally have no idea what’s wrong, perhaps its too early to see signs or i failed at eating at a deficit as usual even though i constantly feel like im not eating enough and just wish i could have more everyday… please help?