Share the weirdest property description you’ve seen on any app

Been flat-hunting recently and realized half the fun is just reading the way some owners describe their properties on apps like Magicbricks, 99acres, Housing, or Nobroker. The way they write it, you’d think every flat is a palace.

One listing said “balcony big enough for yoga with 5 people". I went to see it and two of us could barely stand without bumping elbows. Another owner proudly wrote “house with personality” which turned out to mean cracked walls and leaking taps.

What’s the strangest or funniest description you’ve come across while house-hunting?