I (20F) started talking to a divorced (23M) guy with an 18 month old kid, now I’m second guessing.

So I recently started talking to this guy who’s divorced and has an 18-month-old son. I’m 20 (turning 21 soon), child-free, never had a boyfriend, never had my first kiss, and I feel like I’m starting something that will be way too much for me.

At first he seemed sweet and mature, but the more I thought about it, especially after reading a few Reddit threads, the more I started second-guessing if this is something I even want to continue. He stated they got divorced because she was abusive physically and mentally and it was bad for them and the kid. He was also in the military.

Here’s what’s bothering me: • He told me he was divorced, but never told me when the divorce happened. All he said was that they were married for about a year and have a baby who’s only 18 months old… which makes me think the divorce was very recent, maybe even within the last year. • That’s a red flag for me — like, how do I know they’re really over each other? And if they’re not, I don’t want to be the rebound or someone he uses to get over her. • I feel like I’d never be his main priority, and I don’t want to feel like I’m constantly competing with his past, his kid’s needs, or his ex-wife (who will always be in his life). • The fact that he left out the timing of the divorce feels a little shady to me. If it’s not that recent, why hide it? If it is that recent, I feel like I’m walking into a situation I’m emotionally not prepared for.

He also told me that he never thought he’d find someone who was so understanding and accepting of his situation, which honestly made me feel kind of guilty for second-guessing everything. But now I’m realizing that just because I’ve been kind and open doesn’t mean I have to stay in something that doesn’t feel right for me. I don’t want to carry emotional weight that I’m not ready for just to be seen as “understanding.”

I haven’t confronted him about any of this yet, but honestly I’m tempted to just quietly step back before I get too emotionally involved.

Am I overthinking this or is it smart to trust my gut?