I feel dead

Ok so basically im depressed ☹️.

And here's why: I've been raped 6 different times by 6 different people......

I vented about them on reddit.....

But there are some people that think im making it up or just lying about it for people to comment on my post.

But I honestly dont care if thoses people don't believe me..... I know what happened.

I just feel like my world is crashing down....

I just feel like I can't do this anymore.

I try talking about my rapes so I can heal from them.... but the urge of talking about it never ends... because i can never seem to feel better about what happened to me.

After talking i can feel support and a little better for a little while... but then I just come to realizes that im the only one with the memory or the only one dealing with the specific event by thoses specific people that had cause me harm. --( No one else in the world)--- was there at thoses moments.... just me and thoses guys that hurt me.

Im only 24 years old now.... and I dont know if I'm even important to even give life a try again ....( note: I have an intellectual disability and I also have mental health issues..... such as schizophrenia and depression. (That's what I think my psychiatrist told me that I had thoses things. But I do know for sure that I have schizophrenia though. It's just the depression part got me confused... when my psychiatrist was talking.

But basically I honestly just wanna give up on life.... and disappear.

I dont care if anyone....believe me about my rapes or not.... because i know what happened to me.

Im just sick of life........ ( i dont wanna die .. but I wish that I never existed in the first place. )

Thanks for listening to me.