I'm actively suicidal

I wanted to cut myself when I got to be home alone for the first time but I changed my mind because I don't want to give my old parents a stroke when they see my bloody scars if I ask them for help

I want someone to kill me

Sometimes I don't even know why I just want to commit suicide and I feel it's my destiny

I wish I could be near a bridge I want to jump off a bridge and drown

I have a history of self harm but I've never cut because my parents give me no privacy over my own body so I can't cut anywhere discreetly

End of post.