Anxiety

To start off it’s not me who doing the drugs or alcohol, someone I love struggles with addiction and as much as I try to give a safe place for honesty it’s just not something that ever happen fully . My anxiety has been horrible for months about this I always knew he was going back and forth but it was finally confirmed and it broke my heart but I was glad to finally know the truth just wish he’d want better for himself and wanted to be done with that life I grew up around this life style and it’s hard and draining on both the addict and the person watching .

And the relationship are just a bunch of baggage issues and most are doom and don’t make it out alive . I have so many faith to see a healthier him but I keep getting shown that getting h*gh has a much bigger hold on him and nothing I say has gotten to him to want to fight it . I feel like I’ve tried and done and sat through so much I deal with so much and it’s not fair to me I feel like a corner child .

I don’t wanna see him d*e but I don’t wanna keep having to be lied to emotionally abused and keep finding him looking for other women because he just can’t help himself … I feel defeated beyond