AITA for scaring my sibling

First time post. My sibling and I got into an argument this afternoon, and over the course of it they admitted to being wrong and hurtful in the situation, making assumptions about a question I asked. But during this argument, I was very upset and my eyes must have shown it because my sibling told me that I was looking at them with so much hate, as if I wanted them to d!e (their words almost verbatim), and that I was scaring them, and they started crying. I didn’t know what to do at that point so I stopped making eye contact.

After that I told them it was extremely awful for them to tell me what to do with my face, when they knew my feelings were hurt by them, that I don’t hate them, that I’d never want them to d!e, and they just didn’t like how my eyes looked? They maintained that I had been scaring them with my eyes and they were uncomfortable and that they’re entitled to their emotions. I asked them why on earth they would say all that out loud to me if they know I’m not going to abuse them or wish anything bad on them. They told me they didn’t know why and they knew I wasn’t going to hurt them, but they were just scared.

For important context, we both grew up with a dad who would look at us hatefully when he was angry, and he’d get this scary look in his eyes. As an adult I have a mood disorder and a history of being absolutely impossible before I was medicated, so when I was told that I was staring hatefully I selfishly felt like all of the hard work I’d done on myself still resulted in me turning out exactly the way I didn’t want to. Especially since I didn’t feel any hatred toward them at all.

For more context, I am not the first person my sibling has said this to. We were having a very difficult discussion with a friend a few months back and they said the same thing to her, that she was staring really hatefully at them, and they cried then too. My sibling is not manipulative so I know the emotions are genuine; I just don’t feel I’m not allowed to process without worrying about how my eyes look, if I’m keeping my words and actions in check.

I also understand they have the right to be scared of bad looks in general and there’s trauma for them there (although they told me that when our dad looked at them hatefully, it only made them angry not scared). I feel as if my autonomy had been trampled on, and that they sometimes perceive different people’s expressions of anger or upset in an unfair way. We got into a whole separate argument about that where they continued to remind me that they can feel like my look was scaring them, that it doesn’t mean I’m a bad person, and that it was JUST the expression. I ended up crying and just going upstairs.

Maybe I’m overreacting and I understand either they or I were probably having a trauma response without even realizing it is, but aita? I need to know if I should apologize or not. I really don’t want to fight, but my feelings are hurt and I’m struggling to reconcile this situation.