I think I’m getting groomed and I don’t know what to do anymore.

Back in 2020, when I was 14 I met this girl (let’s call her emma) who was 19, on a game. Emma and I grew really close and I saw her as an older sister that I never had. She invited me to a small discord where there were a few other kids my age, her boyfriend (let’s call him mark) and a few of her friends that were her age. This is where things started to get a little weird.

Emma and Mark started referring to themselves as my parents. They would often get angry or chastise me for stuff as if they’re my actual parents. I didn’t talk to Mark much at that point, but one day he texted me and asked me to play truth or dare with him. I said yes and at first the questions were okay but then they started to get more and more sexual. I really didn’t feel comfortable answering but he kept pressuring me. After this, he would do things like threatening to “spank me” in front of everyone on the server and in private very often if I did or said something he didn’t like. Emma didn’t say anything to stop this even after I made my discomfort evident.

Also, me and the other kids in the server were all girls and one of them invited a guy our age to it. Mark had a whole meltdown over it, and I quote, claimed that it threatened his authority as the leader of the pack. He would then bully the boy ruthlessly until he eventually left himself. This family dynamic got a lot worse as time went on. One day Mark and Emma had a fight and she ended up leaving and accidentally transferred ownership to one of the kids. The kid found that there was a hidden channel on the server on which Mark and Emma sexted and exchanged those kind of photos. All of us were shocked and disgusted, but when we texted Emma about it she got angry at us for invading their privacy. At this point, I told my best friend what happened and she convinced me to block them everywhere and leave the servers.

Things were fine, Until a few weeks after I turned 18, I got follow requests from Mark and Emma on Instagram. I don’t know what I was thinking when I accepted it, maybe because I genuinely loved Emma and thought that since it’s been so long things would be different now. But Emma wouldn’t text me and instead, Mark started talking to me. I don’t want to include screenshots because I don’t want to risk being identified, but I’ll quote some of the messages he sent me. “I’ll spank you to teach you manners” or “Watch your mouth or I’ll stuff it with …(too crude)”. He said that it’s okay to say this stuff to me now that I’m legal. He once also sent me a picture of a banana and asked me if it “scares me of things to come”. He started referring to himself as my boyfriend, talked about having kids and getting married and I would shut him down every time he said stuff like this, but it didn’t stop him. At one point he implied that he gets off on my photos but the implication was so minor that I didn’t think he could possibly be serious, but knowing him it’s not that unbelievable either.

Also both Mark and Emma are white, and I’m from South Asia. Mark would, and still does make incredible racist remarks to me but said that he likes me because I’m pale. Also he has a foot fetish and tried to get me to send him pictures which I denied but he still continues to pressure me for pictures of me on a regular basis. He’s also spoken about stuff he’d to me if we met and….shivers. Literal shivers.

Eventually I told my best friend and she was disappointed with me for accepting their request in the first place. I showed her the messages and she was shocked and disgusted and told me I’m being groomed and told me to block them both again. I know blocking is the only solution here but for some reason I can’t even explain I feel so scared to do that. I get the most horrible anxiety every time my thumb hovers over the button and I just can’t click it. They both know so much about me and have so much information on me and I’m just so scared and don’t know how to get stop feeling like this. By friend told me that unless I block them the only person making me a victim is myself. I feel so stupid and naive for being in this situation.