Should I reach out to him in a few months?
I [28F] met this guy [31M] on a dating app and we started seeing each other. There were multiple things that "matched on paper" such as culture, similar careers, the way we were raised, the way we view our friendships and relationships, long term goals (we were both looking to date for marriage and we talked a lot about that), etc. We started seeing each other and I started really liking him and thought he had many of the qualities that I would want in my long term partner. Even he agreed that we really liked each other and we had a lot in common. He paid for all of our dates, made plans so that we were seeing each other multiple times a week, told me that he was down to meet my friends - so I thought that he was committed to us. I was really hoping that we would become exclusive and start talking about labels/commitment.
Around the 2.5 month mark, his travels increased so much that he basically had to travel every weekend for like 10 weekends straight until end of the year (weddings of friends/family members, bachelor parties, trips with the high school boys, etc.). I told him that I was okay with these trips as long as we can keep communicating and keeping in touch with each other everyday. I was basically the one trying to communicate with him and when i didn't reach out he wouldn't call/text me for 2-4 days at a time. He would come back from the trip, apologize and be the perfect partner again.
But basically just before the 3 month mark, I was unhappy with the communication while he was away and he basically said that he won't be able to give me more communication than he is already able to manage (one 10 min call in every 2-4 days with no texts). I said that then there is no point putting in more energy into this than we already have.
Should I reach out to him in a few months when his travels are done?
- A part of me says that if he wanted me he would have made it work even with all the trips, and actions speak louder than words so I shouldn't be giving him more benefit of the doubt. I am literally asking him to do the bare minimum by texting or calling me once a day while he is traveling.
- Another part of me says right person, wrong time. I keep thinking about how it's so hard to meet people I get along with so well and especially someone who shares the same values and goals, and I shouldn't be so hard on him.
P.S I did block him on IG and stopped talking to him entirely after the "break-up" and I wonder if I was harsh/aggressive.
Posted Sep 29, 2025, 11:22 PM UTC