struggling with restrictions in my marriage - need clarity on Islam vs control

Hello everyone,

I’ve already posted here before about my husband (muslim), because I’m genuinely lost on what is truly part of Islam and what is his own imposed interpretation...

Even before marrying him, I’ve tried hard to adapt and respect his wishes. I drastically cut down on alcohol, I dress modestly when going out, and I’ve refused invitations to go out at night for months, because he didn’t want me outside after midnight without him.

But the restrictions keep making me feel unhappy. For example:

• I asked if I could occasionally (literally once in a while) go out to a nightclub with my best friend. Not to go wild: I barely drink anymore, I don’t flirt, I always make it clear that I’m married. But I don’t want to impose a lifestyle on my friend that she never chose, and honestly, I don’t feel I’m doing anything wrong by just dancing with her once in a blue moon.
• I asked if, at least, I could go with her to a beach club. He replied that it would only be acceptable if it’s a women-only beach club. But realistically, there’s only 1 options and it is quite bad (in terms of service, location...). Again, my intention is not to be immodest, just to spend an afternoon with my friend.

He says that me going out like this “affects the sakinah (tranquility) of our marriage” and that it’s “not aligned with the sunnah.” When we first met, both of us used to go out to nightclubs. He has since stopped and gone back into faith, and I completely respect that, I am really happy for him. But for me, completely cutting this out feels like losing a part of my social life and my happiness.

I feel very conflicted. On one hand, I want to be a good wife and respect his path. On the other, I feel like I’m losing myself, and I don’t know if what he calls “Islam” is really about faith, or about control.

So my questions are:

• Do you think what I’m asking for (occasional outings with my friend) is unreasonable, and I should be questioning myself more?
• Or is this level of restriction more about interpretation and control than about Islam itself?

I’m genuinely open to hearing different views. Thank you for reading.