AITAH for continuing to ignore my family for a mistake they made over a decade ago.

Sorry in advance for the long post.

I (29 F) went low contact with my father’s side of the family around 12 years ago. For backstory my mom and dad are not together. My dad left when I was 14 under the pretense that he was going back to my hometown (we moved to my current part of the state when I was 9) to take care of my grandpa who he said was sick. Years later I found out this was false and that he left because my brother (my father isn’t his father we share a mom) said cops were asking about a bench warrant that my father had. Not that it matters we were all glad to see him gone, he was an alcoholic and an abusive father so none of us were sad to see him go. I was still very much attached to my father’s side of the family though because of my grandpa and step grandma who I was very close to. Due to my father being emotionally and physically abusive I chose to not call regularly or try to speak to him. Anytime my mom would travel for her work she’d offer for me to see him and my grandparents I would say no because I know if I were to visit my grandparents, my step-grandma or cousins would tell my dad I was there and I would have to see him. Therefore I hadn’t seen my grandparents or cousins in a long time. Fast forward to my junior year of high school my mom comes into my room to wake me up for school and tells me my grandpa has died. I started sobbing uncontrollably and I couldn’t process the situation. My mom asked if I wanted to skip school and I said no because if I didn’t have a distraction I would be inconsolable all day and I didn’t want to be alone with my emotions. That lasted half a day and I asked to go home, thankfully I drove myself. My mom and I stayed in contact with my step-grandma and aunt who were planning the funeral and they said they were going to do a small service and that we didn’t have to travel all the way across the state to come, we said we didn’t care and want to be notified of any service they were doing for him. A week went by and no word, then I saw on Facebook a post from one of my cousins of a memorial for my grandpa. They had a funeral for him. I felt so angry and betrayed, this was my one opportunity to say goodbye to my grandpa and they took it from me. The final straw was when one of my cousins messaged me asking why I wasn’t at the funeral and I told them I was waiting for our step-grandma and our aunt to tell me and they never did and then my cousin said I should have asked other cousins and I told them I shouldn’t have had to. I trusted my aunt and step-grandma and they chose to not tell me (we asked them every other day in that week time frame and no response). Since then I’ve gone low contact with them and refuse to interact with them on fb. I still have cousins who reach out every now and then but I remain silent. A couple months ago I had a cousin reach out and asked why I wasn’t at our aunts funeral (this isn’t the same aunt who betrayed my trust) and I said well no one told us about this funeral either. And my cousin changed the subject. We weren’t expecting an invitation but this once again stung because I loved this aunt and I didn’t get to say goodbye to her either. But I’m starting to wonder if I’m the asshole because I chose to be low contact and it was my fault I missed my aunts funeral. And if I should reach out to that side more and start mending the relationship.

Side note: I don’t plan on mending the relationship with my father, I’ve tried too many times and determine he’s just a narcissist who only cares about himself.