My (31f) husband (37m) of 3 years bought me a bowling ball for my bday (I guess its a Simpsons joke). I was so mad, I didn't realize it was a set up for a very thoughtful gift. Now we are both not speaking, what do I do?

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/JameDumb

Original Post March 18, 2018

So where to begin since this has been a miserable weekend and I'm dreading going back to work tomorrow after having wasted two days off.

Friday was my birthday, my husband does a job that requires him to be away for long stretches of time so this is the first year we've been married that he's been here for my b-day. He kept telling me to expect something big and sweet so I was really planning on having a nice evening. I had to work so I had to change into the very nice new dress he bought me at our company gym and even then was running a little late. He was very gracious and didn't seem to mind.

So we had a bottle of wine, a very nice meal at a super new trendy sushi restaurant in a very private booth. It was an amazingly romantic evening. After maybe an hour and half, he asked if I was ready for my first present. I said yes so he snapped his fingers and two waiters brought over a large box. And set it on the table. I opened it and it was a bowling ball with his name engraved on it.

I had NO idea what to think, and I think combined with the wine and saki, I just had no issues telling him what an asshole he was. It didn't even click to me that this super romantic evening would somehow contain a joke. Well me calling him names rightly offended him and he said "it's a joke from the simpsons, I thought you liked my sense of humor" or something like that I said it's a fucking bowling ball how is that funny.

He was really upset so he took a packet of paperwork out of his suit pocket and said something like "fine, here's your real gift, I hope this satisfies you." I got mad at that wording and left and walked home.

I cried myself to sleep and don't know what time he came home, but when I woke up I saw that under a fridge magnet was the gift he pulled from his pocket and it was basically an itinerary for a trip to Hawaii, basically complete with every detail I ever wanted.

I guess he had already left to go ride his dune buggy with his friends because all his stuff was gone from the garage. That made me mad and when he got home we still didn't say anything to each other and he slept on the couch.

So now it's sunday morning and he left again and we still haven't spoken since I stormed out of the restaurant. I feel bad for my part in this but I think his joke was totally inappropriate so I'm still upset, also with the words he chose to use which made me feel like he thought I was a snob. What should I do here? How can we get past this impasse?

tl;dr: husband gave me a gag gift apparently in order to set up his very thoughtful gift. However we still aren't speaking, what do I do in this situation?

RELEVANT COMMENTS

whateverwhatever1235

I’m guessing with that reaction, yeah he thinks you’re being a snob (you are)

OOP

because I didn't react well to an out of place gag gift on the first birthday I've ever gotten to spend with him?

whateverwhatever1235

After an expensive nice dress was given to you, after he took you to a very romantic dinner and literally told you that you had more gifts coming, yeah you couldn’t seem snobbier unless you shit all over the waitstaff as you left.

ImStealingTheTowels

"I didn't react well"

That's an understatement. You straight-up verbally abused your husband and created a scene at an expensive restaurant, that he paid for, in an expensive dress, that he also paid for.

I can understand being disappointed, but you completely overreacted and as such, owe him an apology for how you treated him.

OldMateTHC

And she's still fucking sulking about it. Christ, give him the tickets back and let him take someone who actually likes him to Hawaii

OOP

Contrary to this sub making me out to be literally the worst person in the world, I love my husband

When asked if this is a Simpsons troll

I've never seen the simpsons once in my life. I guess I'll get shredded for that too.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP. DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP OR COMMENT ON THE ORIGINAL POST

Posted Sep 29, 2025, 11:28 PM UTC

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