recovery seems to be ruining my relationship

I announced I wanted a divorce from my partner of 15 years eight months ago and had all my ducks in a row: where I was going, where I would live, where I would work. And then my spouse dropped the news of their addiction on me. I was completely unaware, but reading and thinking more about it, the problems that caused me to want a divorce seemed to mostly be explained by addict behavior. So I decided to give them another chance. I did still move, to give myself a chance to heal from the emotional abuse I'd been the victim of for years, but we stayed together and took a vacation together and decided on my coming back for an extended trial. Things seemed to be going really well.

I am back now for that trial, and everything has changed. Better for them. They are doing a great job of recovery but their recovery has taught them, in their own words, to be "very selfish," and there seems to be no room for me anymore. All I hear are reminders about their boundaries and their needs and their routines. Even when I support those boundaries and needs and routines, it is like a constant refrain to put me in my place over and over again.

I don't argue with them about it--I have told them a dozen times that whatever they need to feel solid in their recovery, they should do. I don't complain about how many meetings they attend, or how often they talk to their sponsor, or their need to stick to a very routinized morning schedule that no longer involves me at all. I am taking it all as it comes. But their communication with me remains disrespectful despite their not acting out with their addiction, and they seem dead set on proving to me that they don't need me/that I am in the way somehow. A lot of the program language is being weaponized to show how secondary I am in their life.

I don't know how long this will last. Maybe it is just how things are now and I need to decide for myself whether I want a relationship this separate, this distant, this removed even while sharing a home. I know recovery comes first, but shouldn't there be space for established relationships within the program? Is this what AA teaches or is this just what they are taking away from it in their own mind? Anyone else with similar experiences?