Snooping secretly or not?
Hi all, I'm so glad I've found this subreddit and hope to find info and advice. English isn't my 1st language so sometimes it's a bit hard to word things clearly for me.
Me (F47) and my bf (38) are together about 8 months. Recently I discovered he watches porn daily and has accounts on several adult websites, with more porn watch lists. He told me he watches porn to keep up with my high s..drive, to 'train' himself. I monitored it secretly and notice he chooses porn often, and chooses it over me. While we have a very good sexual relationship, and aren't together that long. He watches at least 2x a day, and often more (morning before work, right after work and before sleeping) Sometimes he already searches for porn at work, to watch later. I find it an extreme high amount and not healthy at all. I don't have a problem with watching 2 times a week for example. I just feel like it is messing with my brain and I'm becoming obsessed with his porn usage. It hurts so much how he uses it, but im also head over heels in love with him. And he says he feels the same about me, which I do believe. I'm snooping trough his phone sometimes and 1 time his laptop. Both are loaded with porn. I just feel I can't trust him because he lies about it and minimizes it. Should I be quiet when I snoop? Till now I told him every time I did it (5x now). I'm afraid he will just become smarter and better in hiding it. I wonder if I must put effort in our relationship, I really want to, but I'm confused now. Any advice?
Posted Oct 1, 2025, 9:01 PM UTC