Learned helpless?

Hello there. I'm a 27 M. Living in iowa des moines. Had a few girlfriends in the past and 3 sexual incounters? All kinda ended up badly. I'm not the most handsome fella or the most social... so when I find a girl who is my type. (Short and petite) I kinda freeze. I am single and been for quite awhile. I aways felt like a creep but I don't want that title to my name. Dealing with cuties in a official manner or just in general I'm fine with. Just if I want to personally talk to them that's when I fuck up.

I was in such a good mood. I went to the library to work on a computer. Got a 3D stl file spliced and downloaded for a project I'm working on.... was about to go through the elevator as two library lady's where comeing off.... then I heard a cutie behind me. She was a bit taller and I didn't see her face but I really wanted to chat with her.... looked back at the outher to ladies to see if I can get more information about the cutie before I talked with her.... back and forth.... then decided I didn't want any trouble/ probably not her type so I got on the elevator and left.

I'm so God dam sick of this. I really just want someone serious and to be loved but the more I'm head over heels for her the more I feel like I got my whole leg shoved down my throat.