my little cat is no longer with me

I'm truly devastated, I never imagined feeling so much pain over the loss of a pet.. nor I imagined losing one so soon.

To give some context, I had an orange and white cat, he has been with me for a little over a month and is around 5 months old.

I've always been very worried about him, because the adults in my house don't want him to stay indoors. I was worried that he would get cold in the winter, or that he would run away from home and not know how to get back and that eventually someone would take him. It already happened to my cousin, so I was afraid it would happen to me too.

My house has a large garden, and the garage would be protected from the rain and wind, but even so I obviously had some concerns. Apart from the climate and the possibility of him to get lost, I was very afraid that my grandparents' dogs would come to my house and something would happen.

It is possible to go from my house to my grandparents' house, as we have some agricultural fields between the houses (in a way) so from time to time they came to my house.

A few days ago, when I arrived home, I saw a little of blood on the floor near the entrance to my house, with signs of scratches. my heart quickly raced and I looked for the cat, fearing that he was hurt. I didn't find anything, no sign of him, my concern increased because it was lunchtime he usually appears and I stay with him for a while, he didn't show up for dinner either, nor the next morning.

The next morning I was about to leave the house to go study, when my neighbor mentioned that she saw my cat being attacked and killed. I was in shock, I even dropped a bag I had in my hand.

That day was already horrible because of that fact, I couldn't get what she said out of my mind, if before I had hope that he was just a little hurt and would eventually appear, now I had none.

Until then, we had no confirmation nor had we found his body, but then my grandmother called my mother, saying that an employee who works in our greenhouses had seen the body and buried the cat.

My world fell apart again. On the one hand, I felt a 'relief' because now I knew what happened, and I didn't have to continue suffering with the hope of him coming back. However that made me feel really bad. I can't even count how many times I've burst into tears.

What probably happened was that he was attacked by my grandmother's dog, and he wasn't able to escape in time (judging by the place where the blood was, he seemed to be cornered)..

I feel so sad. Today I went to get some fruits and vegetables with my grandfather and I saw a cat walking on top of a wall and meowing, it made me really want to cry.

I think the fact that he's just a baby makes me feel even worse... he was so little, he had so much ahead of him, I miss him so much, I miss petting him, playing with him, just laughing and watching him run around the garden... I am truly heartbroken, I feel like I have lost a part of myself.

I've never posted anything here before, but I think I needed to share this... anyways, thanks to everyone who read this far!, and sorry if there's some mistakes.