How can I tell a classmate to stop copying me

relationship woes

Hello, it's me. Jokes aside, I (21f) have a classmate a year older than me in college that keeps copying me, it started very small for example she tried to copying my manner of speak, my reactions, but no further than that, which still bothered me but I said nothing, I mean I kinda did it too in a smaller way with someone I admired, so I thought who am I to judge? She also do that (I think) out of admiration and I don't really think she's doing that out of malicious intent, she's really sweet, she remembers the birthdays of our classmates (I remember when I asked almost everybody's birthday and she followed along) and give gifts and do little things for others like throw away the snack wrappers that other live and things like that.

Cut to now, she continues to do that (buying the same things I use and copying a little bit more my mannerisms), but she also did a thing that, thinking of it now its a bit concerning; for context last year I tattooed my arm with a drawing that I made that kinda means "bad things happened and you need to move on and heal from that" and I did it on my left forearm and it almost takes all of the space there, I finished it this summer; on the first day of school the first thing she lets me know after the greetings is that she too did a different tattoo on her forearm (she did it on the right) and it almost takes all the space too, now I know that just because I did tattoo my arm doesn't mean she can't do that...but given the individual a question or two comes to mind.

I feel like I'm constantly watched like she's searching something new to copy, it's kinda scary not gonna lie, for example yesterday I was talking to one of my new classmates (the school kinda merged all the classes of the morning together) she's shy and from another state (I am and live in Italy) so I try to talk with her and maybe get her to open up to the others; we where talking about my diet and how I have to drink 2L of water every day and she comments on my water bottle I tell her where I got it from and copycat intervenes saying that it's really cute (of course it's cute it's my pretty pink water bottle and yes I'm quite obsessed by the color pink) and she starts kinda playing with the handle while having this crazy look in her eyes, I already know she's going to order one.

Now I'm starting to question what she will copy next? My drawing style? She already copied a concept of mine after all. My sense of fashion? My personality? My mental illness?

My parents say to just ignore it because it could escalate badly and that it's the last year I will be seeing her (it's the last year of college), that if I say anything she could say that I'm egocentric or something or badmouth me, even though I know she would never do that; I grow all the more uncomfortable every time she do something like that, I also plan to tattoo my cat who went to kitty heaven early this year, is she gonna copy that too?

I feel like a "thing" she can have or take apart, once again I know she's doing this because she likes me but I know that this feeling is easy to transform in jealousy or even worse hatred, I would hate to loose this companionship.

Posted Oct 1, 2025, 9:14 PM UTC

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