I hate so much that my response to my kid being violent in public is to cry

I honestly feel like I wouldn't mind the freak outs so much if I could deal with them calmly, but every time he starts pulling my hair or hitting me when I'm around other people I just start crying, which is super embarrassing for me. I am not even embarrassed about his behavior, just really embarrassed that I can't hold it together without breaking out in tears. I think maybe I don't like being vulnerable in front of people. Before all this, I was never a crier - maybe just once or twice a year. I hate it so so much.