My female friend I’m interested in has a boyfriend and I don’t know what to do

So for context, I M20 and this girl F19 have been online friends for quite some time now, probably around 7 years. We’ve never met before since am from Missouri and she’s from New York so it’s very difficult for me to travel over there as I am busy with work and do not have the money, but if I had the chance I’d take it. I’ve always wanted to be more than friends with her but since she lives so far away it’s basically impossible so we just stayed as friends.

Recently, shes been in a relationship with someone and I rarely talk with her anymore so she asked me what’s going on. I don’t know how to feel about that and I didn’t really explain much. Honestly I’ve always had a tendency to feel jealous and I know it’s a bad thing that can ruin relationships but I just can’t help it. Am I a bad person for not talking to her anymore? How do I explain that I’m jealous and wishing that it was me instead?