Confessed a dumb thing to my gf, panicked and got the timeline wrong. Worth bringing back up?
So basically, I’ll just own it like I did to her. I got wasted and for some reason, in a moment of drunken stupidity and loneliness (it’s a LDR), I called a phone sex line. I don’t know why I did it, and I won’t do it again, but I did it.
I felt awful immediately and called her to tell what I’d done. As I told her, I panicked when she asked when this had happened and instead of telling her it was just a few days ago, I blurted out “oh it was like a month into the relationship” (we’ve been together 2.5 months). I have horrible anxiety and sometimes I panic, I dunno.
She said “and it hasn’t happened again?” I said no and she forgave me and said just don’t do it again. She did say it hurts but she can forgive me for it just once.
I know that if I bring it back up now (we’ve moved on) just to say “oh and by the way I fudged the timeline, it was actually far more recent but I knew that would hurt you way more so I changed the date” she’s going to be understandably even more hurt. I do feel shame for my actions, I will not do it again, and I don’t want to hurt her.
I asked two friends (one male and one female) and they both agreed that the important thing is that I admitted what I did and while changing the timing a bit isn’t a GOOD thing, it’s also not worth the pain and damage it would cause to dig this back out of its grave just to tell her about that and that I should just leave it be and follow through on never doing it again.
I wanted to get some stranger’s opinions.
Basically, is it worth bringing to back up just to say “hey I actually panicked and said it happened longer ago than it did” or should I just let it go and move forward knowing I made a mistake, told her about it, and were ok now?
Again, and I cannot stress this enough, I will not do that again. I was alone for years after being cheated on by my ex wife and I guess in that moment I just fell back into my depressive habits and screwed up. But I DID tell her exactly what I did, just that it was a few weeks earlier than it was.
Any advice?
Posted Oct 2, 2025, 1:41 PM UTC