I want to fuck my daughter so badly … am I a bad father for this ?

Hello everyone ! Im a 43 years old dad going through a hard time, as I have an uncontrollable desire for my 19yo daughter . In one hand , she is my princess, my eternal baby girl, my everything, and I have the ultimate and most pure unconditional love a father can have for his baby girl , from the day she was born, which I shall never forget as long as I walk this earth . In other hand , I developed what goes beyond fantasy between me and her… we are extremely close since she was a little girl . She would always sleep with her head on my chest , sometimes cuddling. One day it all changed… maybe she has a little guilty, as she would tease me, I’m not going to explain here in details what she used to do, it’s nothing extreme, but I would notice for quite some time she was acting very “strange”. What I mean is , whenever we were too close and specially alone , she would acts a lil suspicious, and she clearly knew what she was doing. A dad know his daughter from a mile away, just by staring into her eyes , believe me . If you’re a parent you’re going’s to have to agree with me .

Maybe previous incest experiences with a cousin, have fueled this ? I also like jerking off to pics of her, fantasizing the most unholy things between daddy and daughter . I also love to inhale her scent straight from her dirty underwear … I specially love when her panties are sweaty and smelly… it’s pure bliss for me … her smell causes a literal flood of cum … I fantasize licking her pussy as she arrives home after a long day out , all sweaty and smelly .. I’d love inhaling her musky scent and lick both her holes until she orgasms … and I don’t want only to penetrate her tight holes .. I want her to experience pleasure no man will be able to provide , because I’m thirsty!

Few days ago me and her were having a few beers , it was a family barbecue , nothing uncommon, pretty routine . She’s kinda weak for alcohol, as she is a short and skinny girl . That said , after a few bottles she wasn’t drunk but a lil too happy . She came and sat on my lap and hugs me … keep in mind we are very touchy feely.
She had her arms wrapped around my neck, and hugged me for a long time , we had a little talk, and I couldn’t control myself … and said something like “you making your dad suffer, you know that don’t you “ in a way that sounded like I wasn’t being serious, just to see her reaction. For my surprise, instead she looked at me and said no word , I know my baby girl very well, and that look told me she knows . I could read the amusement , the curiosity but also the shyness in that few seconds we were looking deep into each other eyes . She gave me a kiss , just a little touch on the lips like dad and daughter , she does that to her mom too. But this one was longer and I could feel her entire body trembling a little bit .. like building up tension . Her mother , and some friends, and other family members were all there , I wonder if it was only me and her .. what would have happened ?

This thing got so out of hand for me , that I even engaged into DDLG with a younger girl I found online, and she became my lover/affair for a few months. It helped me to relief some of the tension this feelings and fetishes were causing me , but in other hand, fueled it even further in other ways .

Any daughters who want to talk about this ? Does any of you feel attraction for your own dad ? Or even dads, with the same fetishes for their daughters ? I don’t know how to deal with this no more , as I can’t see myself loving her only as a father should. She’s going to me my ruin … and her delicious pussy my ultimate temptation …