[QCrit] Young Adult Fantasy, FALLING MAPLE LEAVES (90,000 words, 2nd Attempt)

My first attempt lacked a narrative arc and was too vague (removed by Rule 4). Reread the mod's references and hopefully this query has the proper detail and narrative arc. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

Dear Agent:

I am seeking representation for FALLING MAPLE LEAVES, a young adult fantasy novel set in a world where forest nations are built under, and in, the canopy of colossal trees.   

Hugo Neuville is an eighteen-year-old wannabe alchemist struggling between what his family tells him to do and what he wants to do. He desires the fame of being a renowned alchemist but feels a personal obligation to stay with the family business. The decision is made for him when a friend, Princess Sylvie, covertly requests his assistance. She needs an elixir, and he believes that he’s the only one who can do it.

The study of alchemy had only been around for the past thirty years when the Ash Forest burned down. Its destruction released magic that the world had never seen. Arborists, the prevailing religion, view the use of magic as an abomination against their faith. A mortal sin. Their influence with the forest nations has made alchemy taboo, but Hugo doesn’t care. He sees the use of alchemy as his chance at notoriety. The final component can only be found in the isolated nation of the Sequioa Forest.  

The train never makes it.

An explosion in the tunnel to the Sequioa Valley leaves Hugo and his friends searching for survival. Unaware of the escalating conflict between the nations, the group continues towards the Sequioa Nation where Hugo finds the final ingredient. A lily that survived the fall of the Ash Forest, and Sylvie’s fiancé – the Sequioa prince. The magic in the flower brings Hugo to the last day of the Ash Forest where he learns that the survival of the Maple Forest, and perhaps all of the forests, depends on him.

Arborists chase Hugo while the Sequioa search for Sylvie, the runaway bride, through the lands of Ash as they try to get back to the Maple Forest to save everything, and everyone, that they love.

FALLING MAPLE LEAVES (90,000 words) is a young adult fantasy novel told from Hugo’s point of view that blends coming-of-age themes with political fantasy in a world at conflict. It is the first book in potential duology and this book appeals to readers who enjoyed RUTHLESS VOWS by Rebecca Ross and SPINNING SILVER by Naomi Novik.

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