Lovebombing, sex, and attn, oh my! Until it’s not

I used to refer to the first 6mos of our relationship as the happiest time of my life, as it was. It was absolutely amazing and I had never been happier. Now, a year after our divorce, after she left, I realize I was just being lovebombed and manipulated with affection and attention and sex and compliments and gifts and… the whole time. Now I know it’s not normal for her to purposefully trick me into saying I love you so soon. Or for her to push marriage after only knowing each other for three months. It’s not normal to be swept up off your feet by a gorgeous goddess. It felt sooo real though, the love for one another, that I couldn’t tell. It was genuine for me. Yes, it felt good and was fun and validating, but it was also very real for me. Not just an emotional pat on the ego from someone society would see as valuable, but someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, no matter what, through thick and thin. As soon as we married though, bait and switch. She constantly resented and ignored me. I am not without fault, for sure, but I never changed. I remained the same person I was in the beginning and still am today 7yrs later. I fought for her the next 6yrs to bring her back, until she just cheated and left anyway. I did 90% of all the child rearing, dishes, laundry, etc, while she got to play on her phone 6hrs a night as “she needed space” so I gave it to her. Would I trade that time with my kid(s) for anything? No, but I wish she had been a part of it as well. I always thought if I just tried hard enough, I could sustain the relationship and keep it afloat enough for the both of us, until she got back to who (I thought) she was, to the person whom I felt so quickly in love with those first 6mos. Who she had been during those first 6mos and those 6mos only, it turns out. Didn’t realize the angry, resentful, aloof, unable to cope with the stresses of life person was her, not the kind, fun, charming, free spirit I had fallen in love with.