I feel dirty and ashamed for trying for a baby :(

I’m sorry if this is not allowed, but me and my fiancé have been trying for a few months and I’m overcome with feelings of shame. This is the first time in my life we’re trying.

I’m walking around feeling like I’m a cm dumpster. If people knew how much sex we’ve been having I feel like they’d point and laugh at me and call me a slt? And when I do get pregnant, people will see my bump and know what I did behind closed doors. I’m so embarrassed about this I could cry. Not even to mention the actual birth where everyone will see my vagina, which I don’t know how I’m going to handle.

Maybe this all boils down to my relationship with my mother and how it affects my sense of self. I grew up with my mother battering on about how “children will ruin your life” and continuously discouraging me from marriage and having kids. We have been no-contact for over a year now. I want a big happy family and I want as many children as I can have in spite of her disapproval.

I guess what I’m asking is if I’m alone in feeling this way? I guess I just need reassurance that I’m not “dirty” and no one will judge me.