Looking for suggestions for beginner-friendly kink communities

I have recently been dipping my toe into the world of kink dating - something I've wanted for a very long time, but have been super scared to do due to mixture of insecurities, messed up purity culture baggage and a generally anxious personality. I took a risk on someone recently that didn't pay off (nothing drastic, just me getting feelings way faster than I thought I would that weren't reciprocated, and making some poor decisions as a result of that), and I've been struggling way more than I thought I would, and not doing a great job at dealing with how vulnerable it's left me feeling. I have a great friendship group IRL, but I really don't feel like this is something I can talk about with them, and not having anywhere to process what happened is something I'm finding really difficult.

I know the standard advice for making kinky friends is to go to munches, but honestly that sounds absolutely terrifying right now (partially due to how it seems like they are as much about finding play partners as just making friends, partially worry about encountering someone I know already in my small city). I am part of a completely unrelated online forum where people journal about their every day lives (with only a tangential link to the supposed purpose of the forum), and I've made some good friends there, and it got me wondering whether there's anything similar that exists in the kink community? Obviously I'm aware of FetLife but that seems like a different beast, and reddit seems more public than what I'm hoping for. Has anyone got suggestions or stories of what worked for them to find people to talk to? (Getting started advice and stories also welcomed).