Why I deleted everything…[story]

I had searched for a blackmailer to do a friends to lovers plot for me.

This person seemed ideal.

They didn’t really share anything of their style of sexual identity and I should have done a better job at vetting them. They know who I am irl. Scary. But ok, it’s what I signed up for.

They are into things I’m not into and they got upset at my being on here and not more active with them. Yet this person is not degrading me merely poking fun at my body and my character. Something that was not meant to be part of the fantasy. Which was to be made into a good person who stopped letting sex with strangers (LD/IRL) control her. Someone who could reign in my need for both control and sexual dominance. Forcing subservience out of me. Something I’ve never been able to do really.

Well he ruined it for EVERYONE. He ruined the idea of who I even thought I was to be honest. Because I’m not going to let someone defame who I truly am. A kind generous and self sacrificing human who comes here to feel something in a life she’s kept dead to keep others alive. I am a willing carcass of a human that my vulture of a family picks at. Even with my subs I have to compartmentalize.

No one can really handle ALL of me.