Trans pornography

How do you come to terms when he mainly watched trans pornography over the recent years? His relapse was only this too, which flared it up again. First DDay was end of February, relapse in early August.

I find it very difficult to process. I understand the addiction and seeking dopamine etc., but equally, I know I have internalised it and I feel so inadequate and unattractive. He claims to love me and find very attractive as I am naturally, he values how I look, yet he preferred to whack off to heavily surgically enhanced bodies, tons of make up and also male genitals… I just cannot comprehend it. He intellectually showed up as a straight, traditional man and yet, why am I dealing with this?

I just do not know how to process it and I am struggling so much. A few weeks into us dating, he even paid for access to one site for a specific transgender porn actress and to a site which focuses on trans pornography.

It just hurts so much beyond words when he seemed like the best man I have ever met who made me feel like I’m the only woman in the world at the time.