I need advice

I think I'm going through a FUCKING ep of OCD I can't take it anymore and it's not like normally I'm obsessed in a sick way with a friend of mine and I depend on him in an inexplicable way, to get an idea I tried to kill myself for about a year without trying because he didn't talk to me for 1 DAY I went back to sh for him and I have no idea why, please tell me how to get rid of this