Partner connection in tango

As a deeply emotional person, I'm curious how you describe the partner connection of "4 legs, 1 heart" in Tango. It's rare to get this type of refuge in a disconnected world. I'm a newbie, taken half a dozen classes. Compared to salsa and batchata, all involve submitting your energy as a follow to the molding of a leader. I try to be boneless and pliable as a reactionary response to where my partner is leading me. Yet I need to keep my core activated so I can move spontaneously.

My worries about the day fade away when I give into the moment I share with the dance partner. I can also tell when a lead is more confident in their cues or steps, or when they aren't putting their whole body behind the movement. Some partners hold too tightly, others I can sense their energy is nervous or unsure without many words exchanged between us. No hate, just understanding we are all learning and it's incredible how when gathered in a dance room, we all understand body cues without communicating a word of language to each other.

Also, what was your first milonga like? How good at tango do I have to be first before attending?