General Lovepost (compilation of the past 3 days’ shower thoughts and story on my love life)

Sooo ima get right into it with the timeline. So I’ve had 3 crushes so far, 2 of them just weird, and one just couldn’t work out. So I’m not going to dive into those stories, but 2 of them are good stories. Now recently, a friend started giving me 17-25 year old smash or passes (I’m 14 btw), and I said pass to almost all of them cuz they look way too old. Up to Saturday, and another friend asks a girl out that I was considering getting into a relationship with a year or 2 ago, but I decided not to pursue it bc my friend had better chances anyway and what do you know.

So at this point, I’m on the page of love, and I know one girl so far that I knew quite well back in the day, and I’m 50/50 on if she crushed on me back then. So also a necessary piece of info: I skipped 2 grades, so I’m in 11th grade while the other grades were behind me in middle school for 2 years. I wonder, is 2 years of (not age) separation between us too much?Now, she’s also in an afterschool club with me, so that gives me 6 good sized bus rides to socialize with her, along with all of the meetings for the club. I might elaborate later.

This has re-ignited a self-debate on how a crush works. My conclusion so far is that a crush kinda works with your hormones, so you can mature out of it, but it’s also got an element of seeing the person in the right way, and once you see them like that, that is the beauty that you see. And you can see anyone like this, but in a crush your habit is to see them like that. I’ve read a few novels with romance and seen a few movies, and I think that you might be able to get accustomed to love, and I might have fell into this, because I have not had a crush like this for a year and a half or so. It may also be the fault of stress, as I have noticed that life was very stable (my life is already stable I believe) and there was little in the back of my mind when I crushed earlier.

Eh not really a fourth thing, I’ve been singing in the shower a bit, but not a ton else in my head. Any advice, and do you think she’ll still be fine with loving me by now? Btw ima probably take my first steps on the journey by asking her if anything’s changed since I’ve last talked to her, etc. There’s also a chance she’s a bit younger than me but skipped a grade but idk. She’s also a bit like a nerdy person like me.

Thanks in advance.