I’m looking for some advice because I feel very lost right now.

I don’t even know how to start, but I’ll try. I feel incredibly lost in life. Honestly, I’ve felt this way since I was 16, and now I’m 28. I come from Mexico, from a modest family, and struggled with depression until I was 21. Things improved after that, and I went to live in the US for a cultural exchange program, where I ended up meeting someone I was with for almost four years.

At the beginning of this year, everything in my life started to fall apart. My partner told me he got a job in France and was leaving. On top of that, I had issues with my school, lost my student visa, and had to leave the country, losing everything I had built over those years. I returned to Mexico with some savings and decided I wanted to study in another country.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a school that would accept me because of bureaucratic issues. My high school wasn’t very well-known, I hadn’t apostilled my documents in the US, and without that, my US studies couldn’t be recognized elsewhere. I basically wasted a lot of time and money.

Feeling desperate, I used most of my savings to go to France to study French for one year. I arrived just three days ago, and honestly, it’s already been extremely difficult. I had so many unexpected bumps along the way, that keep me second-guessing decision, wondering if I should have done something differently. Besides I've been walking around the city and I really dont like it, Theres no gym (silly but exercise has been a great helper in my mental health).

Now I’m here with almost no money, no job, no friends, and no clear plan. I'm the oldest at the school and I will forever be if i end up finishing my studies. I don’t know if I should go back to Mexico and try to invest in a business with what little money I have, or stay here and finish my year. I feel like I have no skills, no education that counts for much, and I’m not good at anything.

On top of everything, the heartbreak hit me harder than I realized. I thought coming to France would be a chance to meet people, maybe date, and start fresh, but all I can think about is that it’s not him. I’ve only been here three days, but I’m already so unhappy.

I keep thinking maybe I should have stayed in Mexico, tried to study there, and focused on creating a business. I don’t know whether to go back now, finish my degree here and then return, or just figure something else out. I haven’t fully paid for school yet (around €3000), and finding a job here has been has difficult as to find a place to live.

Even though I’ve spent a lot on flights, rent, and other expenses around (€2000), I can’t help thinking that maybe going back would make more sense. I just don’t know what to do. I'm in one of those moments where I feel like theres no light, no solution, nothing. I just want to stop existing.